Friday, September 19, 2008

11:06 PM

deep inside.

I don't know lah.
dont want to think.
I guess I am shy.
I guess I can't stand to make weird relationships.
That's why I run away from things.
I see no point in making weird relationships,
thus no point in forming and letting weird relationships develop further
cause all they do is mess up your life.
I dont like messed up lives.
Or messed up brains.
But you cant control it anyway.
Sometimes it hurts so deep
when you realise all these years
you have been living an empty shell.
One day just passes
another passes
we are all just like holding on to the rollercoaster
because even though we have time to think
how scared we are on the roller coaster,
we dont make any efforts to JUMP OUT
because it takes too much.
too much.
so,
we are going to live this life till we die?
(yes.)

It's interesting to notice how a pattern of life forms.
Humans are amazing.
When a pattern of life has been formed,
people follow that patern of life willingly,
because it's comfortable.
It takes alot to understand someone.
is there really a soulmate in life?

The only reason i think of if you are talking about me is that
you are laughing at me.
treating me as a joke.

thats how low my confidence is.
how low my self esteem is.

I dont like to do stupid things,
I really dont.
(thats why I keep my pencilcase in locker.
Because it's stupid to bring pens home when you already have pens at home.)

I guess everyone feels sad sometimes.
But actually I feel constantly sad alot of times.
happy on the outside
sad on the inside.
Lack of commitments i guess.

Do you count what you achieve at the end of the day
or the process?

Anyway
Live strong.
Freethinkers are smart people.

I blog but you don't have to understand.