life's a joke it's really funny. When I think back.
(Use "I" more often, not we. It's time we take charge of our lives.)
Two years ago, for my Chinese Oral Exam, the topic was on YOG. And saying the word "volunteer" in english caused me to get the grade that is a lil lesser than perfect. And it's funny how at that time, the only thing I can think of about volunteering is picking up balls for them. And here I am right now, having completed the whole event as a Workforce Assistant.
Five years ago, if I had just made a better choice for myself, I would have impressed myself and many others by now. And back then, I was running away from commitments, as usual. Even as a kid, I was not a brave kid. Oh dear.
That's why at this moment, I know many things I am doing, I'm fufiling many of my childhood dreams, and dreams in general. It's not too late, they say. But it's not that easy when you haven't started early. But it's okay if working hard means I will regret no more in the future. We don't live to regret,
But am I working hard? Ouch.
I blog but you don't have to understand.
9:46 PM
ahh i know why. beams.
So I have been telling myself I can't decide if I want it anot. But that's a lie. Because now I know I really want it, and previously it was all a show of insecurity. Perhaps I didn't dared to tell myself I want it, because I was afraid of how I might fail. The determination wasn't there. But now, I know I want it. I know it because it's something that I know when I am twenty, forty, sixty years old, I will want to look back and yeah I've done that before.
It feels good now that I know I want it. Though whether I get it or not might not be a matter of choice, but I'm encouraged to strive to try my very best, and now I know I will. At least now that if I failed, I will not dismiss it as something I couldn't care less about because I was half-hearted, but I will know I've tried and it means something to me.
Thanks to all the amazing youth olympics people, you've shone light on me. esp Germany, Brazil and Mongolia. Muahaha.
Indecisiveness is costly. they suck all the happy juice out of you. But a costly decision cannot be made in a rush of time. Hehe.
Being young is only once. And a nice body beats anything. Anything.
(not saying it in a "go do surgery" kind of meaning, but a "live healthily" kind of meaning, means GO AND JOG.)
I hate how I am missing someone I don't even know so badly.
Dear heart, please tell me how do you work.
Fighting temptations is damn fun because the immense sense of satisfaction that will be brought upon you is incredulously satisfactory and yummier than the original temptations itself. Its like a fight in a fight. a dream in a dream.
I'm glad how such seeing-light moments occur, they are just so fairytale-like. It's like suddenly the voice deep inside there tells you exactly what you should do. That feels awesome.
Let's all jump off the cliffs, and build wings on the way down. quoted from thingsweforget.blogspot
I blog but you don't have to understand.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
11:36 PM
intimidated by my very own fear. i cant do it. it's because you keep saying you can't do it that's why you can't do it. incompetence. or is it that i never open my heart to learn, because i don't see myself in the competition at all. I don't like the idea of winning much, do I? It's all about me,myself and I again. Why do I always do things half way? Who will be there to give me that push? What's holding me back.
I blog but you don't have to understand.
Monday, August 09, 2010
2:00 AM
luck is when you step out of the bus and five minutes later you see fireworks exploding. HAHAHAHA. How lucky am I? :)
I blog but you don't have to understand.
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
10:53 PM
Are there times when you feel really upset. but there is no reason for you to feel so because from an outsider's view, everything is pieced so well together just like a well done jigsaw puzzle. But no one knows how each jigsaw feels when they are pieced together. What if what if the jigsaw piece feels uncomfortable? HAHA TOO BAD.
Advertising is a shady business. Indeed. Now I get why damn high people are valued at certain events. A high and supportive audience is damn inportant when you are the performer.
And, you stop there, just to see people leaving, one by one. Without even a word of bye.
I blog but you don't have to understand.
Hi, I'm FangXian
and I believe in
Mind over body, Heart over mind.
I ♥ happy people
Happy is a virtue :D
but life is not just abt being happy
it's about doing what you never thought you could.
This is just a space to share weird thoughts.
