Who says I dont like the way people who speaks on behalf of me without even knowing if I want it spoken like that, who speaks one thing and do another, who speak assuredly but doesnt produce quality assured work and results, who speak of one but does not look at self, who speak of only dirty thoughts. I wonder if they know they are speaking like that. Obviously not.
I blog but you don't have to understand.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
2:28 PM
Get a hammer I realised I have the ability to link people together, to make people feel included in a group. But I lack the skill to make myself feel included and involved.
It's proven that guys are superficial and girls are materialistic, another addition to my personal theory.
There seems to be a force driving each thing happening, and sometimes it almost seem as if I can predict who's gonna quit because it's so obvious. Sometimes even though she has so much passion for it, the unfavourable external circumstance causes things to change, and then she quits because she couldn't get a chance. But then again, if she wants it badly enough, she might have stayed. The brickwall thing again. But who on earth has such deep powers to hit down every single breakwalls in her life, and has it ever occured to you that some people live their lives with no brick walls.
Jovial nature. hmm. haha.
I blog but you don't have to understand.
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
1:34 AM
Scrambled eggs, scrambled thoughts Unwilling to make sacrifices, yet unwilling to drop expectations. Didn't sacrifice, but still able to get results. Luck? Smart? But deep inside I don't approve of of my laziness. There's exam tomorrow. And I am so happy here I got to Level 21 of Tetris Battle 6P. I feel so bad. For not focusing. It's like knowing what you came here for in the first place, but didn't act as if you really cared. And I see no point in reaching 15minutes earlier than stated time. But nevermind. Spotted something no one would ever notice. Love that satisfying feeling. Childish and stupid. Don't we all know it's much easier to learn things when we were young? But the trade-off is that we didn't know that when we were young. Want so much of everything. But as I grow I realise wanting a little of everything will just make you a nothing. The feeling is like, the egg in the lukewarm water, that never ever became even half-cooked. And then we don't want it anymore. we keep it in the fridge. and later on, we gave it life by frying it. Love typing enigmatically like that, matches my perplexing mind, in a confusing world like this.
I think that I am very aware of my surroundings, like overly aware. I notice alot of human behavior, and it kinda sucks because I think it's very weird. Then again Weirdness is subjected to our own defintions. Sleep deficit seem such a thing of the past, but it's time I see that laze exist eternally.
We can't solve problems by using the same type of thinking we used to create them -Albert Einstein But it takes alot to open your mind to another perspective. Dear friend, open your mind. "But I'm afraid it will drop out"
Two days later, Poly Year 1 will become history. Wow. It almost seem as if it's yesterday that that my feelings came out from my tear ducts. It's crazy.
I am mad afraid I won't join back again. There are some lessons learnt, but some are too late. It's true when they tell you to slow jog a long distance because once you lose that momentum, it is that hard to get back on track again. And again, the thing is you didn't know you would lose it when you had it. For who easily heed words of advice?
It's disturbing how lyrics can get to the head so much. So much Way easier than how facts, political issues and national statistics can wriggle their way and stay in your memory. Though I really believe in human memory, ever since how Venice worked his way into my head. It's hell amazing how much human memory can take. That's why I believe Granger and their friends. HAHA. Or is it Faber. Can't remember. Irony created.
Sigh I am also very disturbed by anyone affected by what they read. It's makes me bind my thoughts, restrain my expressions, and afraid of consequences. It's almost like screaming, you might think its in your head, but actually it's the wrong head.
I enjoy doing things that are really conflicting and vary in extreme measures. But I am afraid as I grow older, I grow more sane. Sanity makes one insane. Irony two created. Because right, when you become more sane, you are afraid to allow your insane thoughts multiply, you put a stop to it, but the feeling is insane because your insane mind is mad afraid the sane mind is gonna take over. Truth is both minds probably don't exist.
Conflicting things make people puzzled. I love the mysterious feeling. It's annoying, it gets to you. But it's interesting.
Then again, I am so afraid what's boring might be what's right.
It's so easy to give money, but so hard to collect money. This is an economic lesson everyone should learn as young as possible.
It's been long since I laughed my heart out till there's tears in my eyes. I miss when I can come across interesting chinese phrases I don't understand, ask Zheng Laoshi about it, and get laughed at by the whole class. Also miss being able to ask the china scholars how to read this word and that word.
Paedophile.
Glad I didn't make the rash decsion that day and risk getting murdered.
It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, or the brewer or the baker that we expect our dinner from, but from their regard to their interest. -Adam Smith
Poly taught me so many things about life. There are alot of things we all just do, and no one mention them. Mentioning would equate admitting, and there are issues in life we just do, there's no right or wrong because it's fair. Sometimes we correct unfairness ourselves, our own forces, we correct them by doing unfair things, and by tackling unfairness with unfairness, we achieve a balance and get what we may then proclaim fairness. And no one speaks about them anymore, because it's fair.
And many times there are things we have to report in a certain way in words, in accounts, in records, a true and fair figure. But the humanity that goes on in the deeper level cannot be seen from the printed records. Mostly it's not a case about allowing or disallowing in the open. It's secretly allowing without expressly consenting to the issue. And that makes things fair. Because they did not allow expressly, but it's implied allowance.
It's a green light to go ahead, but they don't show you that it's green yknow, and you don't just ask if it's green.
I blog but you don't have to understand.
Hi, I'm FangXian
and I believe in
Mind over body, Heart over mind.
I ♥ happy people
Happy is a virtue :D
but life is not just abt being happy
it's about doing what you never thought you could.
This is just a space to share weird thoughts.
