"Go Australia study, immediately get one car to drive around, what's there to be not happy about"

I realised it is not possible to be thoroughly happy, if people around you aren't. You may be feeling jovial and contented with life, but if the people around you, the people you cherish, the people who had made a difference in your life, if they are in misery, there is no fucking way you can be happy thoroughly. The heart hurts, hurts so much, for them.

I wonder what is wrong, with the cheating hearts of youth nowadays. And I'm the one feeling the pain. They cheat people's hearts, cheat their own hearts, what the fuck is wrong.

And how come I get exposed to so many. Suddenly my close friend lost it all, lost to a freaking exam? WTF. Someone so jovial so chirpy so excited about life just suddenly became a pile of mess who don't have the confidence to give credit to her own work, becoming so easily manipulated by the external factors. And it feels like.. like I've lost a friend. But I'm gonna get her back.

Suddenly something happened came to light because someone trustable became a despicable creep, who was devastated because he made someone lose it all. I can feel he's broken now, but it's not like he's the one who deserves the sympathy in the first place. On the appearance it could be me saying what happened was not important and what matters is what happens from now. But truth is, someone like that could never be looked upon in the same light again.

Youths all make mistakes once or twice in our lives. But the extent of the mistakes sometimes is so great that once the vase breaks, you can never glue it back like it's new again. never.

Organizing an event has become something that brings about satisfaction. The nerves that it provokes, especially just before an event, that excitement when you know people are excited about something you've planned. It all feels good. Even though I feel like I'm the only one holding things up currently, things will work out.

And then I remember about what someone told me a few years back, about drowning your sorrows in studies. There are so many troubles to worry about, but if there's nothing you could do about them, stop wasting time and put your focus on studying. Gotta get through these 4 days. Just four days, I can do this.

When darkness comes to light, it ends tonight.